Bad Romance
by AhmoseInarus
Summary: Let Me In: 14 - Out at a club on Friday night, Lady GaGa's 'Bad Romance' inspires a rather... Interesting conversation started by Garcia that will end with the team in a stunned silence and Reid with a bit of an ego boost.


Bad Romance

Hatochiisai

I do NOT own Criminal Minds, OR the songs mentioned in this fic. I just like them and I found this conversation funny.

Mentions of SLASH

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A Summer Night…

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The team sat around the table, drinks in hand, watching Garcia thoroughly enjoy the song that was pounding over the speakers; the bass loud enough for them to feel it in their chests and throats. Garcia was singing along, belting out the lyrics to Lady Gaga's 'Bad Romance'. When it finally ended and moved on to a slow number, she sighed and relaxed.

"Ahhhh… That song speaks to me…" She purred, laying her head on Morgan's shoulder. The man chuckled.

"Oh?" He asked.

"All her songs do! My new personal quote comes from her music."

"Really now?" Morgan asked, grinning and looking at her. "Lemme guess… You wanna take a ride on my Disco Stick?" Rossi, Reid and Hotch raised their eyebrows while JJ and Emily watched and waited for Garcia to put Morgan in his place.

Garcia smirked and leaned towards the man, laying a hand on his chest. "Not exactly, baby…" She purred.

"So what is it?" Morgan asked. Garcia grinned.

"Hmmm…" She hummed, then shoved Morgan back. "I'm a free bitch, baby!" She shouted, and Morgan yelped as his stool toppled backward and sent him crashing to the floor.

"Ooh…" Reid, Rossi and Hotch all muttered, wincing and sipping their drinks.

"HAH!" Emily shouted, and JJ laughed and high fived Garcia.

Pouting, Morgan got up. Garcia grinned and winked at him. He blinked, then chuckled and shook his head.

"Okay, okay, I deserved that." He admitted. "So, do I have a quote?"

JJ grinned. "Wish I could shut my Playboy mouth, How'd I turn my shirt inside out." She offered. The men chuckled as Morgan gave JJ a look.

"I think I know Rossi's quote." Emily announced, grinning.

"Hey… Leave me out of this." Rossi growled. The girls paid no attention.

"Let's hear it." Garcia said, and Emily smirked.

"Let's play a Love Game."

"Three wives… and all of his amorous conquests in his earlier days with the Bureau… I can see that." JJ laughed, and Rossi gave her a sour look. "So what's mine?"

"I'm your biggest fan, I'll follow you until you love me, Papa-Paparazzi!" Garcia sang, grinning. JJ and Emily giggled.

"The press is hardly paparazzi." JJ said.

"Close enough." Garcia shrugged.

"Okay, now Hotch." JJ said, and Hotch raised an eyebrow.

"That's easy." Garcia, then sang out, "Can't read my, Cant's read my, No, he can't read my Pokerface!" The group paused, taking in the words and appreciating Garcia's strong singing voice, then all began to grin and laugh at how fitting the quote was. Hotch rolled his eyes.

"Very funny." He snorted, but smiled slightly and chuckled a bit.

"Okay, Emily." JJ said and stared at her. She frowned. "What's her quote, Garcia?"

"Hmmmm… Can't find my drink or man, where are my keys, I lost my phone?" The woman offered. There was a pause, and then the men promptly broke into laughter. Emily glared at them, then gave the giggling girls a look.

"Very funny…" She snorted, reminding them of Hotch a moment earlier.

"Russian Roulette is not the same without a gun, and baby when it's love if it's not rough it isn't fun." JJ said after a moment.

"… That'll work." Emily shrugged after a moment, and finished off her beer. The others snickered.

"Your turn, Spence." JJ said, grinning. Reid, who had just taken a sip of his drink, froze. Great. More embarrassment. As if the assortment of drinks before him weren't bad enough. Morgan had hooked him up with quite an assortment.

Bowjob. Deepthroat. Screaming Orgasm. Sex on the Beach. Royal Fuck. Buttery Nipple. Wet Pussy. Cum In A Hot Tub. Are we seeing a pattern? Yeah… embarrassing. The worst was that Morgan didn't tell Reid what they were called until he had already tried them. And what made the man laugh the most was that so far, Reid's favorites were the Blowjob and the Buttery Nipple. Before Lady GaGa had started to blare out of the speakers, Reid had been enduring merciless teasings from his team mates, especially after his reaction to Morgan announcing to Reid that he apparently liked Wet Pussy. Reid had choked on said drink, and nearly spewed it all over Rossi.

He shook himself out of his little nervous trance when he realized that Garcia was grinning at him.

"Caught in a Bad Romance?" She offered. Hotch choked on his Guinness and GLARED at Garcia.

"HEY!" He coughed indignantly.

"I want your lovin' and I want your revenge, you and me could write a Bad Romance?" Emily announced.

JJ punched her fist into the air, singing loudly, "I DON'T WANNA BE FRIENDS!"

"Je veux ton amour, et je veux ta revenge, je veux ton amour, I don't wanna be friends…" Garcia trilled, and then all three of the girls belted out the next line.

"WANT YOUR BAD ROMANCE!" Reid leaned back, eyes wide. The girls didn't stop there. "I want your love and I want your revenge, you and me could write a Bad Romance! Oh-oh-oh-oh! I want your love and all your lover's revenge you and me could write a Bad Romance! Ra Ra-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah! Roma Roma-Ma! GaGa Oh-La-La! Want your Bad Romance!" All was silent when they concluded their little chorus. Finally, Hotch raised his hand and pointed his finger at the three women.

"… Don't make me fire you." He said sternly, eyes sparkling in silent laughter. The girls blinked, then collapsed into gales of giggles again. With Hotch staring him down, Morgan rolled his eyes, but being as surrounded as he was by the girls, he was fighting not to at least grin and share a chuckle.

He glanced up. Poor Reid… the boy was sitting there blushing in embarrassment… The poor kid had been through enough humiliation that night.

And apparently, Hotch shared the same thought.

"Alright, that's it." Hotch sighed, and slid off of his stool. "I think Reid has been your victim enough tonight." He leaned over and kissed Reid's cheek. "Come on." Reid nodded and hopped to his feet. "Good night. See you Monday!" Hotch called.

"Night, Reid." Garcia said, catching Reid's elbow and tugging him close, kissing his forehead. Reid smiled, then accepted the hug from JJ and the ruffling of his hair from Emily.

"You and Hotch have a good weekend, Spence." JJ said with a knowing wink. Reid blinked then smirked, a devious sparkle in his eye.

"Uh oh… what does THAT mean?" Emily asked, eagerly.

"I think our boy genius plans to have some fun." Garcia purred, looking delighted. Reid's smirk widened into a bold grin, and finally he spoke.

"What can I say? I wanna take a ride on his Disco Stick." He announced. The other agents all froze. Their eyes widened and their mouths fell open in shock at what had just come out of Reid's mouth. Reid looked quiet pleased at this reaction.

"Reid." Hotch called, walking over. "You coming?"

"Uh huh." Reid nodded, curling and arm around Hotch's waist as the man guided him away. "Let's play a Love Game…" And the pair left the bar, leaving their team in a stunned silence

"... It's the alcohol talking." Morgan said after a moment.

"No..." Rossi mused, smirking. "I think that was ALL Reid..."

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AN: This fic wrote itself after I spent a week with my mother and sisters, who played nothing BUT Lady GaGa all week... _ All quotes were taken from the songs 'Bad Romance', 'Paparazzi', 'Poker Face', 'Lovegame' and 'Just Dance'. These all belong to Lady Gaga, who I see Garcia being a big fan of. ^_~

And what can I say... I love it when Reid has his moments of shocking the team.

Review please!


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